re: mild case of the sunday scaries
Hi tiramisu,
Your recent post reminded me of this short story I saw going around a while back.
A part of me feels like it is just a feel good story - something the Japanese media pushed out to keep the masses toiling, drone-like, at their jobs.
But there was a part that spoke to me, the "Shokunin" part - trying to find meaning in the mundane, and that for every task, there is always a depth that goes beyond the surface.
I never liked any of that or saw myself doing it for long but having a clear path made at least one part of a terrifyingly murky future clear.
It's great that to have discovered what you do not like, and managed to steer clear. But for stuff that you feel more ambivalent about, perhaps there is more to it, more than what meets the eye.
Not everything we learn from a job is stated in the job description - I remembered in an earlier life, when I was shuffled from a technical role, into doing front-line tech support, for, what I would charitably describe as rabid and unreasonable customers.
I hated every moment I was screamed and cursed at, but on the flip side, I did improve my people management skills, and how to compartmentalise issues at work from life. And there were nice callers too, which I was glad to help.
All in, basically what I wanted to say is that I didn't sign up to do a phone support role, but I still feel glad I went down that path, and experienced something I felt was "pointless" for my career as a software developer.
I guess that is enough rambling from an oldie like me, but I just wanted to let you know that nothing is trivial, and that you don't need to change the world - and it is fine that what you do doesn't make an (immediate) impact, but that you are chipping away at it, honing yourself, and giving your best work, not for the sake of others, but for yourself.
Sorry if this turned out to be a bit preachy, but your post brought back some flashbacks from that previous life. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and fears.